As a widow, your life becomes wrought with contradictions.
You suffer a major loss, yet you're embarking on a NEW chapter of life.
A new chapter. Makes it sound so positive and all.
You're 'forced' out of a relationship, but read any grief book and you're told to avoid new relationships for a while.
You need to grieve, after all.
So here you are, sad as hell and jonesing a hug from just about anything with a pulse...and you're told 'no'.
Sit back. Keep grieving.
Some people attend widow get-togethers, and folks party and drink and hug....maybe even cavort around the local hot tub and flirt. And that's Ok.
But succomb to the unthinkable fling or worse yet, relationship, with a fellow widow at these events *add dramatic music here* and, well, that's just plain wrong.
For the brave few who DO find themselves in a widow relationship - well, more often than not, they think twice before making it known to the other widows.
Yeah, people may congratulate you - but in the pit of your stomach, you just know that some people are jealous - angry. They're playing by 'the widow rules of engagement.
And you're not.
The phrase "no expectations, no promises" is tossed around quite often.
And I've come to the conclusion that it's bullshit.
How can you have 'no expectations'? We all have expectations. Even if you truly have 'no expectations', you have the expectation to have none!
I submit that it's human nature to want the comfort of a relationship.
You know how horses are herd animals - they need to be in the herd, lest they get lonely, scared - don't know how to survive?
Humans are a similar animal - companionship is a necessity.
Just who the hell do we think we're kidding?
Most expect to find that 'special someone' - but are afraid to admit it.
But no one really wants to be alone.
Contradictions...they ARE a bitch.
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