The Wind Cries Mary

Sunday, August 21, 2005

After all the jacks are in their boxes,

And the clowns have all gone to bed.

You can hear happiness staggering on down the street,

Footsteps dressed in red.

And the wind whispers Mary

A broom is drearily sweeping

Up the broken pieces of yesterdays life

Somewhere a queen is weeping

Somewhere a king has no wife

And the wind, it cries Mary

The traffic lights, they turn blue tomorrow

And shine their emptiness down on my bed

The tiny island sags down stream

’cause the life that lived is,

Is dead

And the wind screams Mary

Will the wind ever remember

The names it has blow in the past?

And with this crutch, it’s old age, and it’s wisdom

It whispers no, this will be the last

And the wind cries Mary

Jimi Hendrix, 'Wind Cries Mary'

No promises. No guarantees.

As a widow, you get familiar with this line of thinking.

It's like part of the widow package that you get once your spouse dies....a little black knapsack containing waves of emotion, uncertainty, and a loss of faith in just about all of the traditional conventions that you may have held dear.

Remember Maslow's 'Hierarchy of Needs'? I think the loss of a spouse turns his little pyramid over on it's side...you no longer worry about security (hell, your security was just ripped away from you) and you learn firsthand that nothing in life can be guaranteed. Ever.

And that begins to manifest itself in all aspects of your life. Relationships, jobs, your choice of friends...no promises, no guarantees.

So what does it take for a widow to trust again? Is this something unique to those of us who are young and widowed? Wish I had the answer...

Ok, enough of my silly musings...

Spent most of my day in bed. Think I needed to make up for all of the 2-3hrs sleeping stints that I've had for the past two weeks.

And it's good to do nothing all day...very good. A great way to start my vacation - though I already know that I have to do some work this week - hopefully it'll be from home though.

ARIES (Mar 20 - Apr 19): A voice comes screaming from within, "No! Not yet!" But the truth is Aries, you cannot hold back time. You had your moment in the Sun and now comes the time to let the magical experiences ripen. In the meantime, don't be afraid to show your feelings before the changing tides carry them into the past.

posted by oren_ishii at 5:46 PM 2 comments