The virtue of being scarred

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

"I just don't want to die without a few scars."

Chuck Palahniuk, 'Fightclub'

I was talking to a friend today who is going through a divorce. It's rather messy, and she was telling me that she just wants to take her kids, move up to Atlanta and 'start over' in a new environment.

She made a statement about how she knew that I'd understand, given my "situation".

And it got me thinking about how easy it would be to sit here and whine about the hand I've been dealt as a young widow.

And then I remembered Chuck's quote, and it got me thinking about the virtue of being "scarred".

This may sound strange, but there's a certain efficacious quality to living through tragedy.

An advantage, in a twisted sort of way.

There's the obvious realization of what you took for granted before said tragedy.

Not just from a relationship perspective, but in all aspects of life.

You find yourself connecting the dots with more ease, more clarity.

It should come as no surprise that you appreciate things on a much simpler level - whether it's the shimmering sun rippling across a lake at sunrise or the colors of the Florida sky at sunset...you just become more aware, more appreciative.

As T-bone said to me just a few weeks back, it's a gift - Rich's gift - to me.

A little Pollock eye-candy for what ails ya...