Bye-bye, Howard

Friday, December 16, 2005

Bye-bye, Howard

You either love him or hate him....

But for many NY'ers - and to an extent, some in the DC market - we've always had a certain affinity for the King of All Media. Or shall I say the King of all FREE media.

Howard's last broadcast on terrestrial radio took place today.

I didn't get to hear the show - it's been ages since I've listened, but I read about it today with a tear in my eye.

Silly, you might think.

Howard's all about immature humor: shallow topics like tits, ass, lesbians...midget-tossing. His guests included Daniel Carver the KKK dude...The Kielbasa Queen...Dominic Barbara the wacked out attorney, Jessica Hahn (the chick who brought down Rev. Jim Bakker)....Dr Sal Calabro, a NJ plastic surgeon who donated free "boob jobs" to those most needing it, long before any of us had EVER even thought about "reality TV". Howard and his cronies (Ba-ba-booey Gary, Jackie "the Jokeman"Martling, Stuttering John Melendez and Fred Norris) would act as judge and jury, determining which of the pathetic women parading their mammaries around the studio were most worthy of a new set of knockers.

One of my favorite shows? Right around the time of the OJ Simpson trial, when Howard had a song-writing contest for listeners.

My favorite parody - and I believe the winner - a song written to the tune of "Old McDonald" that was called "Ol' Black OJ". It went something like this:

"Old Black OJ had a white wife,

Lookey, lookey here;

Old Black OJ had a big knife,

Lookey, lookey here"

It was downright wrong and dirty and sleezy and cheap. And it was funny as hell.

I grew up with Howard...or at least listening to him. And as "wrong" as it might seem, I actually enjoyed and appreciated his humor.

Rich and I bonded over Stern. We had "Crucified by the FCC", his book "Private Parts". We ordered his Pay-Per-View tennis matches and his New Years Eve special.

We agreed that the government had no right censoring his program. Freedom to change the dial and all, people.

Enjoying Stern's humor is like subscribing to the National Enquirer: you know content is crap, but you come back for more because it's scandalous and smutty and witty and entertaining.

And it makes you laugh. And if you don't like it - well, hell, don't listen.

I got to meet Howard when I was an intern at NBC in NYC back in the eighties.

I worked for WNBC TV's Local Broadcast Standards group on the 9th floor. But I always managed to get "lost" at least two or three times a day, just to check out the many cool TV and radio events taking place over at 30 Rock. Back in those days, an intern who got "lost" in the right places could see the Friday night rehearsals for Saturday Night Live, The Letterman Show, Don Imus's radio program or Howard Stern's.

And by the way, Howard was right: Imus really was an asshole.

I bumped into him one day while wandering around the radio studios. I said "Hello Mr. Imus" as he walked past me, and he stopped, turned around and barked "Who the hell are you and why the fuck are you on this floor?". I muttered an apology and scurried away.

Nice way to treat a 19yo kid with ambition. Asswipe.

Compare that to Howard. Met him in much the same way, and he responded to my hello with a genuine smile and "Hey, how'ya doin?".

Night and day difference, I tell ya. And no - he didn't check out my tits or ask for a flash.

So with a bit of nostalgia and an appreciation for a fellow broadcaster, I tip my hat and salute

the King of All Media...Howard Stern. May he continue to delight as many fans on Sirius as he did on the free airwaves.

posted by oren_ishii at 12:44 PM 0 comments